Sunday, November 15, 2015

ISIS™ Introduces New Anti-Glass Shattering Suicide Bombs

Ever the innovators in the technology of suicide bombing vests, ISIS™, recently introduced, in their Paris campaign, a new bomb which does not shatter glass. The photo below shows the aftermath of the Parisian café suicide bombing which injured and killed many people, but left the glass in the windows totally intact!

(No windows were harmed in this bombing. Reprinted under Fair Use.)

Anonymous intelligence agency sources confirm that while this new bomb technology is a significant step in the lessening of post-bombing clean-up, it is hardly original. These sources point to the Boston Bombing wherein one of the bombs killed and injured scores of people, but left the plastic cups sitting on nearby tables untouched.

One question that overrides all others concerning this technological advancement is why such a ruthless terrorist outfit like ISIS™ would even concern themselves with using it. After using said bombs to kill and injure scores of innocent people, the fact their bombs lessen post-bombing clean-up really isn't going to score ISIS™ any humanitarian points. Another unnamed source that wished to remain anonymous remarked that it reminded them of the old Neutron Bomb. You may recall it, the nuclear bomb that would kill people, but leave buildings basically intact. Regardless, some misguided political-types welcome such technology as a significant step in continued environmental friendliness.

Another interpretation of this recent technology, beyond the obvious tounge-in-cheek nature of this article, is that it comes from the United States military, even though the mainstream media (MSM) has been blacking out the news that ISIS™ was basically a creation of the United States government. This declassified document would also explain how ISIS™ is able to drive miles long truck convoys without any U.S. military bombardment. Or, how they are also able to continue to replace military material and where the heck they get the enormous amount of financial aid to continue such operations in the first place.


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