|(Giddy women gladly give up another Meal For Mitt!)|
Drunken, unreliable anonymous government sources down at O'Malley's Bar also confirm that Romney scours the country on his so-called campaign trips to lobby orphan organizations to give over some of their "difficult cases" which he likes to turn into something he calls, "orphan fricassee". Apparently, as one staffer put it, "It is very good!".
|(Go ahead, throw your vote away!)|
|(I killed Osama bin Ladin)|
- leaves the toilet seat up after taking a piss
- scratches his ass before shaking a potential voter's hand
- extra-judicially kills Americans (oops, that's Obama, sorry)
- loves soccer
- kicks puppies with steel-toed boots
- skins kittens alive and mixes them with his famous "orphan fricassee"
- belabors a point to the point of non-sensibility
- farts loudly in elevators
- smokes cigarettes in Burbank
- did we mention eating orphans?