Thursday, August 11, 2011


Late last winter, 2011, legislators from the state of Ohio invited a fetus to give testimony before one of their committees. While the public part of the testimony merely had a pregnant woman and an ultrasound, my sources have found the transcript of the PRIVATE testimony actually given by the fetus!

LEGISLATOR: Good morning, Mr. Fetus, uh, or are you a Miss Fetus?

FETUS: Gurgle, glabble-blurt.

LEGISLATOR: I see. You are not far enough along to have a sexual identity. Very well, we will refer to you then simply as Fetus. (pause) All right, Fetus, do you feel that abortion is an evil abhorrent sin?

FETUS: Blub blub, gurgle gack.

LEGISLATOR: Very well. Do you then consider yourself to be alive?

FETUS: Freeyap blub, splish splash.

LEGISLATOR: And do you feel democrats are mostly devil worshiping sinners?

FETUS: Glub!

LEGISLATOR: I think I speak for everyone present by saying that your bravery, Fetus, is moving. One last question (commotion)...What's going on? What's wrong with Fetus?

DOCTOR: Sorry, Senator, but a fetus this young can only survive outside the womb for a few minutes.

LEGISLATOR: Hmm. Tragic.


No comments: