Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Donald Trump Gets Pulled Over By A Cop

Trump pulls off to the side of the road. The Cop walks up to Trump's window and he rolls it down.

TRUMP: What could be the problem, Officer?

The Cop begins to speak but Trump keeps going.

TRUMP: Because there is no problem that I can see. A problem is looking for a solution. But, there's no problem here so therefore there can be no solution. I mean, what is a 'problem' anyway? Who decided what a 'problem' is?

COP: Well, sir, you ran a stop light, your tags are expired and you were swerving from left to right. Let's see your license and registration.

TRUMP: Fine, that's fine, here you are. I'm great at swerving to the left and right and back again. I'm yuge about that. There's no better swerver than me, it's one of the things I'm a master at. Just a master at it. Truly a master. Red lights are a conspiracy theory, really. The red light is merely a suggestion, not a true demand. If it was a demand, demanding some demand of some kind then there'd be no liberal rule you know, the California Stop. That wouldn't be there, there's no way that could be there. It's not demanded. Expired tags could be interpreted a variety of ways, just a lot of waves, many waves that make the mere mention of expired wavy. It's a pretty wavy thing. I'd imagine that you imagined they were expired due to some, some sort of smudge of something or a sunflash in your vision. Sunflashes are very common. I should do something about sunflashes and there'd be a less amount of people pulled over.

COP: OK, here's your ticket for the three violations...

TRUMP: Oooo, careful using that word violations, brings up bad memories. I don't like bad memories. They're bad!

COP: Uhhh, right. So, there's your summons date. Please sign right there.

TRUMP: I'm very good at signing. I can't wait to start signing a whole lot of things in the future. A lot of things. Good things. Great things. Here you are, Officer.

COP: Here's your copy. I'd do a field sobriety test, but, well, geez, just take it easy for gosh sakes!

TRUMP: Gosh. Is there a gosh? Gosh, wouldn't it be something if there was no gosh at all? Or what if there is a gosh? Gosh, that would something. Maybe something more something than if there wasn't a gosh and gosh if there wasn't it would be equally, of equal, gosh for that sort of gosh.

COP: I need a drink.

The Cop walks back to his vehicle.

TRUMP: Pretty amazing, gosh, it's pretty, I'm pretty; pretty at being so pretty, oh so pretty. And mild, gosh, mild is I am.

[photo under Fair Use]