ROBERT F. KENNEDY - The Most Obvious Conspiracy

(A mortally wounded Senator Robert F. Kennedy asks if "everyone else is alright?". Photo through Fair Use.)

After midnight on June 5th, 1968, Senator Robert F. Kennedy, who had just won the California Democratic Primary, was walking through the kitchen pantry of the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles, having just gave a victory speech, when he was felled by assassin's bullets. The official narrative of this assassination is fairly cut and dried. Sirhan Sirhan, an apparently disgruntled 24 year old Palestinian Arab, emptied his .22-caliber revolver from in front the approaching Kennedy and was still firing as he was tackled by onlookers. There was a trial, Sirhan's defense team stipulated to his guilt and he has spent the last 45 years in jail. Below is a video of RFK's press secretary, Frank Mankiewicz, announcing the Senator's death.

This New York Times article from June 6th, 1968, pretty much sums up the Mainstream Media (MSM) official version of events with a remarkable lack of contradictions for early reporting. So, how is the assassination of RFK the obvious conspiracy? Because the eyewitnesses and the autopsy report totally contradict the official version. It's not even close.

Confessions Of A Boston Baked Bomber

by Dzzhochar Tsarnova

Ha Ha! I have the simpleton infidels right where I want them. Through my brilliant machinations, which I will explain further, the Great Satan will be brought down to his knees! Although I may not have died a martyr like my brother, Tamerlamershammalamma, who now enjoys the inexperience of over 70 virgins in the great Valhalla, no wait, dammit(!), well, you know what I mean infidel...here in the world of the living I'm enjoying the adoration of more teenage girls than Justin Bieber. Ahahahaha, life is good for me!

To think, our revenge against the infidels of Boston began just over a month ago, and the story your government keeps spinning makes it difficult for a world-renowned terrorist, such as myself,  to even try to keep up. But, I will!

(Here I am during my Bob Dylan phase. Yes, the times they are a-changing.)

It all began innocently enough when my brother and I were shopping at the local mass quantity warehouse store and spotted some rather fetching pressure cookers. On the spur of the moment we bought six of them. Once home we went immediately to the internet to learn how to make...bombs out of them! HaHa! Not only that, you putrid infidels, we decided to take them to the Boston Marathon. However, before we left, we had one too many tokes and forgot the bombs and wound up carrying schoolbooks in our backpacks! Bah! It did not matter. Our cleric had called us to meet him at 666 Bolyston (yes, infidel, 666, bwahahahahaha!!!!!) and we were standing and standing around waiting for the guy. Then, BOOM, BOOM. We then understood our place in this attack and got the freaking infidel outta there!

President Obama Warns Students To Reject Voices Regarding Government Tyranny The Day After Kent State Massacre Anniversary

On May 5th, 2013, the day after the 43rd anniversary of the Kent State, Ohio Massacre, President Obama, speaking at Ohio State University, warned graduating students to "reject" voices that exclaim tyranny in government is "just around the corner". I'll be happy to wait a moment as you read that again. As there is no coincidence in politics, Obama's address against the "voices" and when and where it was given in Ohio is more than a bit significant.

(Before the shooting with tear gas in the air - photographer unknown - added under fair use)

Here is the top representative of our government telling us not fear the government. "Unfortunately, you've grown up hearing voices that incessantly warn of government as nothing more than some separate, sinister entity that's at the root of all our problems", the President said with a straight face. For this statement is, without the pejorative "unfortunately", quite correct. But, then the President spins this away from rightful questioning of tyranny in government by saying that, "(Y)ou should reject these voices", because, "they suggest", our, "unique experiment in self-rule is somehow just a sham with which we can't be trusted". No, these "voices" are more concerned with rescuing our unique experiment from the clutches of the military/industrial complex, or corporation-as-people, that control it now.

How very fitting that the President gave this warning in a state that saw the ugly result of government tyranny in death, blood and gore. A state from which petitions to Obama's own Justice Department rejected not voices, but any reopening of the Kent Sate shooting case. Kent State, where on May 4th, 1970, National Guard Troops killed 4 students and injured 9 more in a barrage of gunfire that when reading contemporaneous reports echo many of today's start and stop reporting of major events. But when you read the New York Times article on the massacre (none of the students were armed) you read good ol' fashioned journalism as the article reports "official" versions of events that were augmented by the reporter stating what he saw which, not surprisingly, contradicted official reports.

(National Guard Troops fire upon unarmed civilians at Kent State - photo by John A. Darnell -  added under fair use)

Also, like Obama in excusing his drone strikes that kill civilians, the President at the time, Richard Nixon, in his official statement about the Kent State Massacre, played the blame the victim card. "This should remind us all once again that when dissent turns to violence it invites tragedy". Even 43 years ago, the usual machinations were in place. There were early reports that the Guard Troops fired after sniper fire, which was totally contradicted by not only witnesses at the scene but also by that pesky reporter. "This reporter, who was with the group of students, did not see any indication of sniper fire". Yep, the more things change the more they remain the same. The protest was not as overtly violent as Nixon suggested. The protesters were throwing rocks at the troops and their tear gas canisters back at the troops. Yep, that is pretty violent when facing down armed troops. However, in the context of the times, with college campus protests almost the norm, we today forget that there was a tacit understanding that most of the time the troop's guns were loaded with blanks. Yes, I know, crazy! Apparently, kids from 1970 were just as naive about what they faced as are the kids from today who blithely sat through President Obama's warning to not listen to the voices of dissent.

FOOD STAMPS - Come To My Door With Your Torches And Pitchforks!

One of the stranger divisive issues to enter American politics recently is the one where people on food stamps should not also buy, with their own money, booze and, gasp (!) tobacco. Newsflash! The sanctimonious blowhards who perpetuate this argument are being completely disingenuous because you can't buy booze or tobacco with food stamps! Get it? They are called food stamps.

Here's the quick story: I pay taxes. A few times over my life I have qualified for food stamps - like right now. Without it, I'd be homeless. Homelessness, we may agree, is a much bigger burden on our welfare system. Some wags will say that the poor should be careful with their "discretionary" income all the while ignoring the enormous burden place upon tax payers by the corporate welfare state. Newsflash #2! The rich are being subsidized by the tax payers. That's why they have lawyers and lobbyists.

So, the rich can party but not the poor? Because some people need assistance from us, the tax payers, they should continue to remove more joyousness from their lives? How does that work into the "happiness" part of the Constitution? Like, "sorry family, we're on food stamps and Christmas is cancelled", or "no birthday for Billy", or "if you want to watch a movie, go to the neighbors", or "well, time to get rid of our pets".

I'll say it again: it is all about housing and corporate welfare! The government has said that housing should account for no more than one-third of monthly income. Well, that's all fine and dandy, but the actual amount is 50% or more, an especial burden for the poor. So, should I be able to buy booze or tobacco with my hard earned money? You bet! We tax payers subsidize the rich through a vast array of resources for them. Know what? They buy booze, too.

The Pesky Bill Of Rights

Back in the day, people in government compromised. The new Constitution of the United States of America, featuring more power for a central government, only came to pass because of the compromise to include the Bill Of Rights. These Rights are laid out in a specific order and there are ten of them. Let's look, shall we?

(The pesky Bill Of Rights.)

The 1st Amendment is all about freedom of and from religion, freedom of speech and assembly and that good ol' right of the people to petition the government for a redress of grievances. Pretty astounding when you think about it. But, rather pointless without the 2nd Amendment, which, without coincidence is second. You can't write something like the 1st Amendment, with it's pesky rights, and they are our rights, without a way to defend those rights. And by golly, the 2nd Amendment guarantees the right to bear arms and defend that precious 1st Amendment. Yep. Damn pesky. For one cannot exist without the other, and those folks in government who are really, really tired of people having ANY RIGHTS are presented here with a part of a document that is not only pesky, but damn irratating for them as well. Not only that, the intertwining of these two Amendments, is pesky and irritating for people who believe they have a left wing or right wing view of the whole thing.

But, wait!!! There's more!

It's the 3rd Amendment! A close examination of this Amendment by the jaded, terrorist fearing crowd of the 21st century, reveals cries of antiquation! Oh, come on, really? Troops being quartered in my house? What is this, the 18th century? Regardless of all the misery and death that the military/industrial complex heaps upon the people on a daily basis, the heart of this amendment has had a lasting effect. Even today, in the 21st century, you'd be hard pressed to find some CIA backed dictator in Africa infringing on this, uh, American Right.

Which leads us then to the important, "I've been arrested for something and I can't get up" Amendments. The 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th Amendments all deal with the fact that the rights of the accused supersede those of the accuser. In other words, America believes in an axiom that was expressed, ironically if you prefer, by English jurist William Blackstone in 1765, "Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer".

And, now we fall upon the 9th and the 10th Amendments, which not only strengthen support of the "you can't have have the 1st which is defended by the 2nd, which also defends the 3rd Amendments" but also uses language so simple that one may be shocked to learn over 200 years later that the words were written by lawyers! And we all know how pesky lawyers can be.

GUN/CLIMATE Control

A well regulated Climate being necessary to the 

security of a free Earth, the right of Mother Nature to 

keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.


(photo: source unknown, taken at Sydney, Australia)

CLIMATE CHANGE Leads To Prostitution And 'Arab Springs'

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

An upcoming blog article will go into the details of why I changed my mind; that mankind does contribute to the climate change. I know that may leave some of you in a bit of a shock, unless you have followed me on Facebook. It happened shortly after my cancer surgery [see the many articles about that located herein]. I've decided to leave these articles as is.

(Me give you climate change long time!)

Two recent articles point out that even amongst the climate change community lie folks who might be, well, a little tin foil hattie. One article quotes a U.N. official as saying climate change will increase prostitution (yep) while another trumpets a conference that will explore that one of the causes of the so-called 'Arab Spring' (a revolutionary uprising in Egypt) was none other than climate change! These rather strange results, or possible results, actually have roots more in the inhumanity of man against man and the pursuit of money and power than in climate change. These results also seem to disproportionally effect brown people, which of course, leaves whites to be, well, whites.

George W. Bush - ARTIST

Some of the the e-mail accounts operated by the Bush family were hacked recently by someone known as Guccifer and the Secret Service is investigating the matter. Apparently, phone numbers, secret codes and the like were leaked to the public, but no smoking gun ala 9/11 for example. What is interesting are two self-portraits by the United States of America's most recent dictato..., er, uh, President.

I am not an art critic, but I like paintings. The two hacked and or released George W. Bush paintings are not only self-portraits but are also semi-nude works. Furthermore, they depict the act of bathing. I don't need to drag out my dusty edition of the Rodent's Thetharus (rhymes with Petraeus) to note what the act of bathing symbolizes. But, still. Come on!

Below is Self-Portrait #1, what I'll title "Bush Shower". Please study it well. On the one hand it is a fairly competent rendering of of our ex-dictat..., er, uh, dammit, I mean, President, taking a pleasant shower. And who in this great country of ours doesn't want to enjoy a nice hot, non-political, pleasant shower?

(Self-Portrait #1. by George W. Bush)

First, what strikes the viewer, besides the implication that our most recent ex-President is not only painting in the off-season*, but doing serious semi-nudes, is that Bush's back is toward the viewer. His face is seen, though, in an oblique shaving mirror, but only partially, as we see only his eyes [the mirrors of the soul] and his nose and his right ear [shades of JFK -Dallas]. Now before any of you conspiracy nuts go off half-cocked, these photos were taken with the canvas on the easel. So, there is no symbolism regarding the brown "object" above the shower head. Anyway...our ex-Furh...er, I mean, President, seems to shower in the usual spartan of areas. Although the painting seems to reveal a lot about the artist through his use of the semi-nude, very little is actually revealed. Some purists, of course, will intimate that our ex-dict...er, uh, President, may or may not, be masturbating. But, I'll let the Joyce Brothers among youse hash that one out.

From a purely aesthetic viewpoint, the second self-portrait from George W. Bush is more rewarding. I'll call it "Bush Bathtub". Once again in the act bathing, perhaps washing off that blood from the Endless War he used as a pretext for the revenge of 9/11 - ooops, dammit, extrapolating again - anyhow, we see our ex-stolen elect----um, I mean, President, taking a nice relaxing hot bath. Really, who among us Americans of these great United States don't enjoy a nice relaxing hot bath?

(Self-Portrait #2, by George W. Bush)

I mean, what the flying fuck of fucks is going on here? Well for one thing, our ex-supreme lea----, golly fuck it, I mean President, has not only pulled off an interesting scene, he has addressed the vagaries of water! In an odd, ex-presidential sort of way, Bush has imagined not only the bobbing nature of the legs in water, but the water itself as it cascades out of the faucet and envelopes the legs of the artist himself. It is almost photogenic in its innocent, or the conspiracy mongers about us might surmise, photoshopped! For some reason, Bush's rendering of the water itself hypnotizes in ways I can not...well, recall.

It's fitting when one thinks about these paintings. Water as metaphor for waterboarding and the cleansing nature of such water as a way to assuage oneself of the dirty blood of wars carried on by his self-portraitizing current occupier of the White House. Whatever one may think about our ex-crazy----, I mean, President, we cannot say he is without, perhaps, a self-revelatory nature than most of the so-called liberals would care to admit.

*= Bush likes pro baseball

Mass Manipulation - Too Many Gunmen At The Sandy Hook Shooting

At this point, to question any part of the official story of what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14th, 2012, could be prosecuted as a crime. That's how far it has come since last summer's shooting at the Aurora, CO movie theater. These reactions are to be expected because they are one of the many byproducts of mass manipulation. Questioning equals conspiracy theory and questioners are conspiracy theorists. Or the wearer of tin foil hats. But, in this case, those accused of wearing such hats are at risk of a televised attack by Anderson Cooper or criminal prosecution by the authorities.

(aerial photo of Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14th, 2012)

With this study, I would like to move past this knee-jerk equation of what defines questioning of any official story. I am not proposing a conspiracy theory. My main purpose is to ask questions of the simplistic official story of a very complex case. Specifically, like the Aurora shooting and the Sikh Temple shooting, Sandy Hook also had early reports of gunmen which eventually disappeared without any more mention in the Mainstream Media (MSM).

The Aurora shootings had both eyewitnesses to more than one gunman and/or accomplice and police scanner audio recordings featuring descriptions of two extra suspects. The Sikh Temple shooting had a few eyewitness accounts of more than one gunman, but no chatter about them on the police scanner. The Sandy Hook shooting not only had eyewitness reports and police scanner audio of more than one gunman, it also had police helicopter video footage that was telecast on national television of the police chasing and arresting one of the gunman in the trees next to the school!

Top Ten Blog Posts Of 2012

Yes, once again it is that time of year to do what Americans love to do: create and read top ten (or whatever) lists! For Random Thoughts Of A Random Guy From A Random Place Up In The Sky, 2012 was an outstanding year in the number of readers over the year previous, and I would think, also with the quality of the blog posts I wrote. But, not only do I digress, I boast.

(photo by Tammy Harrel-Fraley)

Here are the Top 10 blog posts of 2012 based on the number of reads per post and it is also my first full year of blogging. This list, of course, is not the same as a list of posts that I think were pretty damn fine (and didn't get too many readers), so I will include those afterward as "honorable mentions". Also note that not all of the Top 10 were written in 2012.

1. "The JFK Conspiracy: The Proof Is In The Warren Report"
This post was number one week after week for most of the first part of the year, having originally been published in November, 2011. It is also a favorite of mine, being a part of the narrative that is infrequently (if ever) brought up.

2. "The Beatles - 'John Is In Fact The Leader Of The Group'"
The surprise big hit of latter 2012, this post was part of a three part examination of John Lennon's songwriting within The Beatles. Part Three also appears on this list, but for whatever strange reasons, Part Two didn't come close in terms of readership.

3. "John Lennon - A Conspiracy Of Silence"
This post was the complete script for the documentary, which due to time constraints had to be under fifteen minutes.

4. "Attention Whores - What?"
This is the first of two blog posts which enjoyed a surge of readership within the last two months of the year. This one is especially curious as it had basically laid dormant for most of the year. Why? Who the holy internet knows. The presidential election, the news of another shooting? I dunno.

5. "Mitt Romney Eats Orphaned Children For Breakfast; Among Other Things"
Here is the second surging blog. This was actually one of my favorite satires written all year. Man, that was a bad and spendy election!

(photo by Tammy Harrel-Fraley)

6."JFK Assassination - The Correct Conclusion Regarding William Greer"
There was a surprising amount of comments against the conclusions in this blog post. I was trying to refute the notion that JFK's driver killed him, but, the idea, after all these years, is pretty strong in some people.

7. "Obama: Extra-Judicial Mass Murderer"
Here is another post from late 2011 that still had staying power this past year. That heartens me a bit, as the case of the minor boy assassinated is finally making some inroads in the MSM.

8. "Walter Cronkite Was The Source Of The Core JFK Conspiracies"
This post was something I ran across simply by watching the first hour or so of CBS-TV's news coverage of the assassination on November 22nd, 1963. It was simply astounding!

9. "New York City Police Kill Gunman AND Wound 9 Bystanders"
Here was a true breaking news story post. It could have been much worse - "kill gunman and nine bystanders". A true WTF kinda moment.

10. "Part 3 - The Beatles - 'John Was In Fact The Leader Of The Group'"
Part three of this post squeaks in at number ten.

Author's Honorable Mentions

Here are some honorable mentions (well, three) that I was quite fond of but didn't get nearly enough reads to even appear on a top twenty list.

"Handcuffed Suspect In Back Of Police Car Shoots Self - AGAIN!?!"
Ah yes. This post was a fool me twice moment.

"Blacks SHOULD Be Outraged Over Trayvon Martin Killing"
This post was my favorite of the year and, yes, I'm still outraged about the whole thing.

"WAKE UP!!! Facebook Censorship !!!"
I didn't think that in 2012, something like this post explains, would cause me to lose access to good old Facebook for three days. But it did and I was. So, Happy New Year and New World Order!

Dead Sandy Hook Elementary School Principal Interviewed By Local Paper About Shooting

A most disturbing find.

In its first article about the shooting at Sandy Hook School on December 14th, 2012, the local paper, The Newtown Bee, included an interview with the school principal, Dawn Hochsprung. The problem is that Dawn Hochsprung was reported as shot to death during the attack! How was the newspaper able to interview someone who was supposed to be dead? The original article is here, and in case it gets scrubbed, it is reprinted below in full with the relevant passage in bold. (UPDATE: the article was scrubbed this morning 12/17/12, but some of the paragraphs are now contained in article under the headline: "Gunman Opens Fire At Sandy Hook Schools; Fatality Reported") Following the reproduced article below is a screen capture.

SHOOTING REPORTED AT SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
State and Newtown police, ambulance, and emergency response personnel responded to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shortly after 9:30 am, Friday, following reports of a shooting. One child was carried from the school by a police officer, apparently seriously wounded. Other injuries are reported, and emergency personnel have set up triage facilities. Three victims were transported to Danbury Hospital by ambulance. The other children in the school exited school under state police protection.
Police are in the process of setting up a staging area for parents coming to the scene that is away from the school, possibly at Fairfield Hills, to alleviate the traffic congestion in the immediate area.
Sandy Hook School Principal Dawn Hochsprung told The Bee that a masked man entered the school with a rifle and started shooting multiple shows [sic] – more than she could count – that went "on and on."All of Newtown's schools are in lockdown, and the private schools have in town have been notified of an alleged shooting being reported at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Superintendent of Schools Janet Robinson said the schools were placed on lockdown the morning of Friday, December 14, "until we hear what is going on there."
Dr Robinson said it is best if parents do not try to call the district at this time, and the school district will release a message once further information is known.
The situation is evolving.

(Photo source: KDVR)

In another article on the newspaper's website under the headline, "Stories Of Heroism Emerging From School Shooting Tragedy", is what has become the official narrative of her death.

"But none were more tragic than the accounts of Principal Dawn Hochsprung, who was emerging from a meeting and apparently saw the gunman and warned several colleagues who were about to step into the hallway behind her, and into the shooter's direct line of fire. The last thing one witness recalled was her turning back and yelling a warning to lock the door as she apparently confronted the gunman. A few moments later she was shot."

This disturbing find is completely irreconcilable with the official narrative of the shooting spree. According to the newspaper, the reporter interviewed the Principal in person. Also, Ms. Hochsprung's statement to the newspaper included many specifics of the shooting and she was quoted as saying the shooting went "on and on". How is this even possible? She's suppose to be dead! And after appearing on the newspaper's website for 3 days, the article has now been scrubbed!

Unfortunately, this shooting event isn't only about opening a dialogue on gun control. Something is just not right here.

2ND UPDATE
If you go to the newspaper's link (see above), there is now an article entitled: "Retraction & Apology". This raises more questions. Who was the woman that identified herself to the reporter as the Principal? How did she know so many details? Why isn't this woman being investigated? And, of all the people for this woman to impersonate, why would it be the Principal, who had not yet been identified as being shot? What else would one expect the newspaper to say?

Here is another post about too many gunmen at Sandy Hook.

Is Newly Released Photo Of George Zimmerman Faked?

It's a tale of two noses folks!
One of these photos cannot be an accurate representation of George Zimmerman's nose the night he shot and killed Trayvon Martin (see my blog post here).

The newly released photo taken by Sanford Police the night of the crime shows Zimmerman with a bloody nose and/or lip and obvious swelling on the right side of his nose. However, a photo also taken by the Sanford Police at the police station later, shows no swollen nose and all that icky blood gone. Certainly the blood could have been cleaned off but swollen, so-called broken noses do not magically lose the swelling in less than 45 minutes. One of these photos cannot be a true representation.

(This photo taken at the scene of the shooting shows obvious swelling on the right side of Zimmerman's nose. Source: Sanford Police Department)

(This photo was taken at the police station less than 45 minutes later. The swelling has miraculously disappeared! Source: Sanford Police Department)

So, I tend to believe that the second photo taken at the police station is the accurate one. There is no way a broken nose's swelling could have disappeared in less than 45 minutes. The truth is out there - right in front of your nose!

IS EVERYONE ELSE ALRIGHT?

If you are on Facebook, I'm sure you have seen the increasing political rancor as the so-called election for president draws near. It basically boils down to "your candidate is a lying scumbag, whilst my candidate would never lie or be a scumbag at all"! Disingenuous to be sure. Well, I just couldn't take it anymore and decided not to comment on Facebook again until after you cast your corporate vote for the one or the other corporate candidate who will kill men, women and children with impunity.

Because there was a man who finally, finally, by god, figured out it was more than about him and he was brutally murdered. But, not before he asked the eternal question we may have the guts to ask as we are mortally wounded, "Is everyone else alright?" If you can reach deep, deep within your own heart to believe that you can, too, utter such mortal words, than maybe, perhaps, just maybe, you will vote this election for someone who epitomizes such wonder as he lay dying for the concern of others. But, alas, you will not, as you still believe in the corporate two party system. I grieve for him and so many others assassinated for disregarding or challenging such a system as I do for you. I weep tonight for you as you gleefully rip apart the Republican or Democrat for which you hold so dear. But, please, "IS EVERYONE ELSE ALRIGHT?"...

Mitt Romney Eats Orphaned Children For Breakfast; Among Other Things

(Giddy women gladly give up another Meal For Mitt!)

Our tenuous sources report through fourth party rumors what most of us died-in-the-wool Democrats knew already: that Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for president, eats orphaned children for breakfast! Sometimes with eggs (scrambled), sometimes with Count Chocula, sometimes with toast and butter, and even (gasp!) sometimes with bagels and lox!

Drunken, unreliable anonymous government sources down at O'Malley's Bar also confirm that Romney scours the country on his so-called campaign trips to lobby orphan organizations to give over some of their "difficult cases" which he likes to turn into something he calls, "orphan fricassee". Apparently, as one staffer put it, "It is very good!".

(Go ahead, throw your vote away!)

Beyond this sickening revelation comes word-of-mouth that Romney is nothing more than another in a long line of Reptilians, who frequently run for our nation's highest offices. Also, Bar-Rak O'Bama, a Jewish fellow we know down at the wharf, swears on a stack of Bibles that Mitt Romney secretly cross-dresses as a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man. Further sources from the Chickens With Their Heads Cut Off Democrat Society are of the utmost belief that Romney has been known to cavort with known corporate shills in an effort to undermine everything that Democrats hold dear from regularly aborting babies to smoking foot long spliffs!

(I killed Osama bin Ladin)

The list of horrible and even down right anti-social behaviors engaged by Romney, but never, ever, ever, ever by our much beloved and handsome current dream boat, never tell a lie President Barack Obama, include but are not limited to the following:

- leaves the toilet seat up after taking a piss
- scratches his ass before shaking a potential voter's hand
- extra-judicially kills Americans (oops, that's Obama, sorry)
- loves soccer
- kicks puppies with steel-toed boots
- skins kittens alive and mixes them with his famous "orphan fricassee"
- belabors a point to the point of non-sensibility
- farts loudly in elevators
- smokes cigarettes in Burbank
- did we mention eating orphans?

Ed Wood, NOT Stanley Kubrick, Helped NASA Fake Moon Landing

BREAKING NEWS...

New information has revealed that the long standing conspiracy theory that famed director, Stanley Kubrick, helped NASA create the Apollo 11 moon landing is, in fact, a hoax! Fiction is stranger than truth as long secreted government documents reveal that NASA indeed faked the moon landing, but the director of the project was none other than so-called "worst director in the world", Ed Wood!

(Iconic director Ed Wood)

Ed Wood, the cross-dressing director of such infamous schlock classics as Glen Or Glenda and Plan 9 From Outer Space, was tapped by NASA to direct their Apollo 11 moon landing hoax movie! Unnamed and unsourced officials deep within the military/industrial complex are quoted in the documents thusly, "Ed Wood is the perfect director for the Moon Hoax Movie given his public track record as an untalented hack director which was simply a well worn cover story propagated by our Illuminati pals at the CIA." Aha! Set up in the public eye as an untalented director was the perfect cover story for

(movie poster used in the massive cover-up)

one of the most talented science-fiction directors to have ever graced the silver screen. He would have been the last person to suspect as being behind the incredible hoax!

As usual, the "real" clues are scattered everywhere in the public record. For instance, Ed Wood was born on October 10th, 1924. 10/10/1924 or 10x10x1924= 192,400, the actual number of miles that the moon is from the earth! The names of the Apollo 11 command module and lunar module were Columbia and Eagle, respectively. Columbia, as we know, was the name of the studio that Wood secretly worked for and Eagle was Wood's pet name for his penis! In addition, Bela Lugosi, a frequent actor in Ed Wood's "cover films", was in actuality the cover identity of NASA uber-scientist, Wernher von Braun! Astounding!

(Alleged image beamed from the moon was in actuality shot on the sound stage of an underground studio located beneath Ed Wood's Hollywood home!)

So, why does everyone think it was Kubrick who directed the moon landing hoax movie? Why, that's classic double-hoax disinformation. People are far more likely to believe in the hoax if it was directed by someone with a resume that included such films as, 2001 - A Space Odyssey, and since it was a hoax of a hoax, plausible deniability was virtually guaranteed. Now, thanks to these long secreted government documents, we can at last bestow upon Ed Wood the true talent denied to him by the military/motion picture/fake moon landing/industrial complex!

Seth MacFarlane's Mendacious 9/11 Story

What possible reason would Seth MacFarlane have to obfuscate the truth concerning his story about missing Flight 11 on September 11th, 2001? The true reason is just as valid, but it doesn't really possess any of the suspense, drama and comedy of his story.

According to Mr. MacFarlane, of Family Guy and American Dad fame, he had partied hard the night before and was very hungover when he woke the next morning, September 11th. But, he left to make his flight anyway which, unbeknown to him, his travel agent had accidentally printed as departing at 8:15am. American Airlines Flight 11 was scheduled for a 7:45am departure! Oh, the suspense! Flight 11 actually was nearly fifteen minutes late with it's departure, but MacFarlane had "missed it by 10 minutes or so..."! Whew! While waiting in the airport for his next flight he heard about the tragic events unfolding in New York City and Washington, DC. "Yes, alcohol saves lives", he went on to say.

Well, not quite.

Records from the 9/11 Commission show that Seth MacFarlane canceled his flight at 6:34am, over an hour before the scheduled departure and nearly an hour and three-quarters before departure time given to him by his travel agent (see below).

So, why rush, very hungover, to the airport to miss Flight 11 by "ten minutes", if the ticket had been canceled at 6:34am? Why the mendacity in the first place? Why not just say, "I was too hungover to make the flight and decided to cancel and catch a later flight after sleeping it off"? Because being hungover and simply deciding to call the airline and cancel is not as good a story.

This story, of course, has done nothing to deter from MacFarlane's success and in fact he has inserted gags about 9/11 into several episodes of his shows or his movie. Sometimes the press hasn't been ideal, but in no way has this derailed his career, more than likely because he has cred for missing the doom flight by ten minutes, instead of just sleeping one off.

Or maybe we just can't trust anything printed in the 9/11 Commission report.

YOUTH

Youth
If you were youth

Youth, is wasted on the young
Is wasted on the young
Is wasted on the young

There they sit
Beggin' for dollars as they protest
While on the street blandly playing chess
Apparently they'll never confess

I hate listenin'
To your wigger language
When you have no clue
What it means to be a black youth

If you were youth
Don't be frivolous and cor-rect heirs
If you were youth

Demographics say I'm too old
Too old to buy your products
They say I'm too old

Young may say
My mind is such a blather
What's the frequency Kenneth Rather
My words are such a mess

So, youth, you're wonderin'
What happened to this song
You thought you'd get better billing
If you were youth
If you were youth....

PRAYERS

There are reasons why and rhymes cliched
Speaking to how I love you
Pray and pray though I may continue
I'm feeling forsaken with no clue

I'd close the door
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true
I'd go to sleep
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true

Multi-syllabic words I write and write
If only to have something to do
I'm begging you now to look into my faces
And give me the courage not to be blue

I'd close the door
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true
I'd go to sleep
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true

Too many days and nights I know I've wasted
But I have always come back to you
I'm begging you now to look into my faces
And give me the courage not to be blue

I'd close the door
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true
I'd go to sleep
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true

POSSIBLE 2012 Democratic National Convention Backdrops

Ahhhh, we've enjoyed a fair amount of bashing on the foibles of the Republican National Convention and it's environments. It was good to get that out. Ah, I felt good. Romney and Ryan; what wasn't there a progressive to bash about and about? Bash away progressives and liberals and democrats alike! Yes, bash away!

Don't believe, however, that you are above reproach. I therefore submit two possible Democratic National Convention backdrops.

#1

WE WILL CONTINUE THE ENDLESS WAR AND WILL PROSECUTE IT UNTIL ITS END!!!!

#2

CELEBRATING OBAMA'S SUCCESSFUL DRONE CAMPAIGN

LOVE

Love,
She is a might tricky bastard.