Ed Wood, NOT Stanley Kubrick, Helped NASA Fake Moon Landing

BREAKING NEWS...

New information has revealed that the long standing conspiracy theory that famed director, Stanley Kubrick, helped NASA create the Apollo 11 moon landing is, in fact, a hoax! Fiction is stranger than truth as long secreted government documents reveal that NASA indeed faked the moon landing, but the director of the project was none other than so-called "worst director in the world", Ed Wood!

(Iconic director Ed Wood)

Ed Wood, the cross-dressing director of such infamous schlock classics as Glen Or Glenda and Plan 9 From Outer Space, was tapped by NASA to direct their Apollo 11 moon landing hoax movie! Unnamed and unsourced officials deep within the military/industrial complex are quoted in the documents thusly, "Ed Wood is the perfect director for the Moon Hoax Movie given his public track record as an untalented hack director which was simply a well worn cover story propagated by our Illuminati pals at the CIA." Aha! Set up in the public eye as an untalented director was the perfect cover story for

(movie poster used in the massive cover-up)

one of the most talented science-fiction directors to have ever graced the silver screen. He would have been the last person to suspect as being behind the incredible hoax!

As usual, the "real" clues are scattered everywhere in the public record. For instance, Ed Wood was born on October 10th, 1924. 10/10/1924 or 10x10x1924= 192,400, the actual number of miles that the moon is from the earth! The names of the Apollo 11 command module and lunar module were Columbia and Eagle, respectively. Columbia, as we know, was the name of the studio that Wood secretly worked for and Eagle was Wood's pet name for his penis! In addition, Bela Lugosi, a frequent actor in Ed Wood's "cover films", was in actuality the cover identity of NASA uber-scientist, Wernher von Braun! Astounding!

(Alleged image beamed from the moon was in actuality shot on the sound stage of an underground studio located beneath Ed Wood's Hollywood home!)

So, why does everyone think it was Kubrick who directed the moon landing hoax movie? Why, that's classic double-hoax disinformation. People are far more likely to believe in the hoax if it was directed by someone with a resume that included such films as, 2001 - A Space Odyssey, and since it was a hoax of a hoax, plausible deniability was virtually guaranteed. Now, thanks to these long secreted government documents, we can at last bestow upon Ed Wood the true talent denied to him by the military/motion picture/fake moon landing/industrial complex!

Seth MacFarlane's Mendacious 9/11 Story

What possible reason would Seth MacFarlane have to obfuscate the truth concerning his story about missing Flight 11 on September 11th, 2001? The true reason is just as valid, but it doesn't really possess any of the suspense, drama and comedy of his story.

According to Mr. MacFarlane, of Family Guy and American Dad fame, he had partied hard the night before and was very hungover when he woke the next morning, September 11th. But, he left to make his flight anyway which, unbeknown to him, his travel agent had accidentally printed as departing at 8:15am. American Airlines Flight 11 was scheduled for a 7:45am departure! Oh, the suspense! Flight 11 actually was nearly fifteen minutes late with it's departure, but MacFarlane had "missed it by 10 minutes or so..."! Whew! While waiting in the airport for his next flight he heard about the tragic events unfolding in New York City and Washington, DC. "Yes, alcohol saves lives", he went on to say.

Well, not quite.

Records from the 9/11 Commission show that Seth MacFarlane canceled his flight at 6:34am, over an hour before the scheduled departure and nearly an hour and three-quarters before departure time given to him by his travel agent (see below).

So, why rush, very hungover, to the airport to miss Flight 11 by "ten minutes", if the ticket had been canceled at 6:34am? Why the mendacity in the first place? Why not just say, "I was too hungover to make the flight and decided to cancel and catch a later flight after sleeping it off"? Because being hungover and simply deciding to call the airline and cancel is not as good a story.

This story, of course, has done nothing to deter from MacFarlane's success and in fact he has inserted gags about 9/11 into several episodes of his shows or his movie. Sometimes the press hasn't been ideal, but in no way has this derailed his career, more than likely because he has cred for missing the doom flight by ten minutes, instead of just sleeping one off.

Or maybe we just can't trust anything printed in the 9/11 Commission report.

YOUTH

Youth
If you were youth

Youth, is wasted on the young
Is wasted on the young
Is wasted on the young

There they sit
Beggin' for dollars as they protest
While on the street blandly playing chess
Apparently they'll never confess

I hate listenin'
To your wigger language
When you have no clue
What it means to be a black youth

If you were youth
Don't be frivolous and cor-rect heirs
If you were youth

Demographics say I'm too old
Too old to buy your products
They say I'm too old

Young may say
My mind is such a blather
What's the frequency Kenneth Rather
My words are such a mess

So, youth, you're wonderin'
What happened to this song
You thought you'd get better billing
If you were youth
If you were youth....

PRAYERS

There are reasons why and rhymes cliched
Speaking to how I love you
Pray and pray though I may continue
I'm feeling forsaken with no clue

I'd close the door
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true
I'd go to sleep
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true

Multi-syllabic words I write and write
If only to have something to do
I'm begging you now to look into my faces
And give me the courage not to be blue

I'd close the door
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true
I'd go to sleep
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true

Too many days and nights I know I've wasted
But I have always come back to you
I'm begging you now to look into my faces
And give me the courage not to be blue

I'd close the door
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true
I'd go to sleep
If it was anyone else but you
Anyone else but you it's true

POSSIBLE 2012 Democratic National Convention Backdrops

Ahhhh, we've enjoyed a fair amount of bashing on the foibles of the Republican National Convention and it's environments. It was good to get that out. Ah, I felt good. Romney and Ryan; what wasn't there a progressive to bash about and about? Bash away progressives and liberals and democrats alike! Yes, bash away!

Don't believe, however, that you are above reproach. I therefore submit two possible Democratic National Convention backdrops.

#1

WE WILL CONTINUE THE ENDLESS WAR AND WILL PROSECUTE IT UNTIL ITS END!!!!

#2

CELEBRATING OBAMA'S SUCCESSFUL DRONE CAMPAIGN

LOVE

Love,
She is a might tricky bastard.

Part 3 - THE BEATLES- "John Is In Fact The Leader Of The Group"

PART 3

1968 -
single:
LADY MADONNA - PAUL
THE INNER LIGHT - GEORGE
Single number seventeen (and you know what I mean) is the first single released without a primarily written song by John. He wanted Across The Universe to be the single. The horns certainly help the A-side, along with some more Beach Boys style backing vocals. The B-side is maybe George's finest hour. Or, at least his best melody.

single:
HEY JUDE - PAUL
REVOLUTION - JOHN
Like the Hello Goodbye single before it, this is another head scratcher in the singles department. The original Revolution (found on "the white album") was deemed too slow by the other Beatles so John rewrote it with a fast tempo. Still, it wasn't accepted, instead the A-side is a slow song from Paul! What the hell? John must have been a tad confused by the whole affair. This single was the band's best selling one ever, in spite of the over seven minute A-side. John's rewrite features some of the dirtiest guitars they ever recorded.




(cover design by Richard Hamilton)

album:
The Beatles
After the colorful, eye-catching album covers of the previous years, this ninth album from the band was their first and only double album and adorned with a white cover (hence the nickname, 'the white album'). No singles were released from this album! 30 original songs! After the somewhat uneven nature of 1967's output, John, Paul and George rose to the fore with a delightful collection of songs that neatly ran the gamut of popular song genres. There were rules, too. Neither Paul or John could have more than two songs in a row on the album and their output restored a parity. The songwriters also should have shared producing credit.

New York City Police Kill Gunman AND Wound 9 Bystanders

From the "you just can't make up this stuff" department comes the stunning story of a police shoot down of a gunman in New York City that came only minutes after Mayor Bloomberg spoke on his radio show once again about the need for gun control. Unbelievably, even though all the bystanders were shot by the police, Mayor Bloomberg callously used this tragic event to call for laws to enforce stricter gun laws on civilians and not the police! He also fabricated details by saying all the bystanders were hit by fragments or ricochets.

(This man, a bystander, was shot in the elbow by police.)

Even though Americans are still awaiting any surveillance video from the Aurora, CO theater shootings, for example, NYPD released video of the police shooting of the gunman within hours of the event.

The sequence of events has a disgruntled ex-employee walking up to his former boss on a busy sidewalk and shooting him in the head several times. He then put the gun back into a black bag he was carrying and fled the scene. Around the corner from the initial shooting, a construction worker alerted two police officers to the gunman who was walking in front of the entrance to the Empire State Building. As can be seen on the released videos, the two officers come up behind the gunman and appear startled when he stops, turns around, reaches into his bag and pulls out his gun, pointing it at them. Before he can shoot them, the officers shoot at him with 16 rounds, striking him several times while also hitting nine bystanders. The gunman falls to the sidewalk on his back and raises his arms a bit as he rapidly succumbs to his wounds.

(The gunman falls to his knees while being shot by police.)

It is a miracle that none of the bystanders were seriously hurt or killed. The Mayor's fragments story doesn't wash as one man was shot in the elbow, a woman was shot in the knee and another was shot in the neck. Finally, after the gunman is shot, he falls on his back and dies, but the NYPD rolls over the dead body and cuffs it!

(The dead gunman now lying on his stomach and handcuffed.)

MASS MANIPULATION - A Study Of The Aurora Theater Shootings

At this point, a month out from the horrific shootings at an Aurora, Colorado movie theater, to question any part of the official story is to invite derision as a tin foil hat wearer or the certainty that questioning equates you as a supporter of the shooter. These reactions are to be expected because they are one of the many byproducts of mass manipulation. Questioning equals conspiracy theory and questioners are conspiracy theorists. Or the wearer of tin foil hats.

With this study, I would like to move past this knee-jerk equation of what defines questioning of any official story. I am not proposing a conspiracy theory. My main purpose is to ask questions of the simplistic official story of a very complex case. Due to this complexity, only one portion of this story will be examined in each post. Along with asking questions there will be an examination of the mass manipulation that came from nearly every corridor of power from the Mainstream Media (MSM) outlets to the White House.

#1 "THE Strange Case Of Jordan Ghawi"

Jordan Ghawi is the brother of one of the victims of the shooting, Jessica Ghawi. He identified his sister as a victim within minutes of the shootings. Because of that twitter post and others, plus a blog he started, her death became known to the MSM fairly early on in the coverage. What a great, tragic story they had with Jessica Ghawi. For, she was one of them, an aspiring sports reporter for a radio station in Denver, branching out into television. If that wasn't enough, she had barely survived a mass shooting in Toronto at Eaton Centre only six weeks earlier, which she blogged about under the name of Jessica Redfield. You just can't write better copy than that for a breaking news story.

Part 2 - THE BEATLES - "John Is In Fact The Leader Of The Group"

PART 2

1966 -
single:
PAPERBACK WRITER - PAUL w/JOHN
RAIN - JOHN
After taking a well deserved break early in 1966 and another one after their last tour in August, The Beatles released only 16 songs this entire year. Their twelfth single marks the beginning of Paul dominated singles. It would be over a year and a half between John's last A-side and his next in the summer of 1967.
Paperback Writer is notable for being a non-love song and Paul's new Rickenbacker bass guitar was quite an ear-opener for the time. The B-side certainly showed the advanced experimentation in John's work. The first use of backward vocals on a record.

single:
YELLOW SUBMARINE - PAUL w/JOHN + DONAVON
ELEANOR RIGBY - PAUL
The A-side has Ringo singing one of band's more catchable melodies written mostly by Paul with help from John and an uncredited Donavon, whose song Mellow Yellow may or may not have been a direct influence. The B-side features Paul backed by a string octet and a haunting refrain. Another #1 single and the only one starring Ringo.



(cover collage by Klaus Voormann)

THE BEATLES - "John Is In Fact The Leader Of The Group"

PART 1

In October, 1962 The Beatles gave their very first radio interview barely three weeks after the release of their first single, "Love Me Do/P.S. I Love You" on Parlaphone Records. While explaining to the interviewer that the lead guitarist is not the leader of the group, Paul McCartney says, "...John is in fact the leader of the group." In looking over the recorded output by the band it is clear that John Lennon was the leader of the group, writing a vast amount of the group's songs through 1966. Then, in 1967, his songwriting declined drastically as Paul took over the group with his songs until the following year when John began to reassert his dominance. This resulted in an uneasy alliance between Lennon-McCartney which could not be sustained, eventually leading to John leaving the group he had founded and was "in fact" the leader.

When The Beatles started out, the currency of their trade was records, specifically the coveted singles, the seven inch vinyl 45rpm discs that were the mainstay of the record industry. It was unusual at the time for a songwriting duo such as Lennon-McCartney to write a majority of their own output. It is no secret that Lennon and McCartney were very competitive and they actually co-wrote very few of the group's songs. The following is a chronological look at the rise of the leader of the group's songwriting output, it's sudden decline and eventual re-emergence.

1962 -
single:
LOVE ME DO - PAUL
P. S., I LOVE YOU - PAUL w/JOHN
Being neophytes to the big recording studio, John and Paul readily agreed with their new producer, George Martin's song choices for their first single. The A-side was a song Paul wrote back in 1957 and prominently features John's harmonica. The B-side was another Paul original with some help from John. The single peaked at #17 in the United Kingdom and #1 in America after the group made it big there in 1964.

I Am Not An Animal - I Am A Human Being!

WARNING: Pissed off American ahead!

I'm on food stamps. For over a year. And it's people like the person who wrote that positive shit above, that makes me not only more able to face another day of doing the American hustle, but also be proud to be an American. What's that dear readers? The American hustle? You know, trying to find a job and keeping a roof over my head.

But this American, he compares me, a person on food stamps, to an animal! Isn't that fucking great?

To be poor be poor in the United States of America today is worse than it was in the last decade of the 21st century. I speak from my own experience. I have never been truly homeless, I have only spent a couple days on the streets. But I have lived what most Americans would consider a sub-standard life for the last eight years. But why the flying fuck should that matter because I AM AN ANIMAL!

Without food stamps, I would be forced to, what? Lose my phone? Sleep on the streets? Or go into your fucking pantry like any self respecting ANIMAL would and steal your food, but not before I killed your pet dog, too.

You may see me roaming the streets, breaking into grocery stores to steal all your meat because god knows, AS A HUMAN like an animal, without food stamps I should be able to forage for my berries and leaves and cows, OH MY!

Meanwhile, the Corporations and Banks steal more from your American pocketbook than this ANIMAL ever could! And you know what's truly funny? You gladly open your wallet to those fucks but would like to slam it shut on this ANIMAL!? Then you deserved to be raped, and raped repeatedly by the Corporations and Banks who won't even give you the common courtesy of a reach around. May you and any others that think like you that I am an ANIMAL be set upon and masticated by both Smokey The Bear and Yogi Bear (+ BooBoo) you pious fucks!

UniteWomen's Facebook Propaganda Success!!!

You probably saw this all over Facebook on Sunday.

The problem: it is not TRUE!

UniteWomen.org's posted the above picture on Facebook Sunday with the comment "Please share with pride!"and before you could say "interweb" it was "shared" over 3,500 times and "liked" over 20,000 times. There's a big problem because it is not true! She did not make the 2012 Olympic Fencing Team. What is true was that she was the first openly Muslim woman to represent the US team in international competition. Now, what is interesting here: why did UniteWomen.org feel the need to exercise one the greatest pieces of successful propaganda on Facebook, and exponentially, the world wide web?

The organization put up a retraction of sorts on their Facebook page:

"We posted earlier that Ibtihaj Muhammad was the first Muslim woman to represent the United States at the olympics. She did not make the olympic team. We should all be proud of women attempting to break barriers. We are sorry for the incorrect information and thank those who brought the error to our attention.
We would like to take this opportunity though to point out that we are about uniting women. While many of us may not agree on everything, the vitriol and hate demonstrated in some of the posts will not be tolerated."

So, we are to believe that no one working for UniteWomen is able to conduct the simplest of searches? I don't believe that at all! Let's now look at the propaganda and how it relates to the original posting (which has not been taken down as of this time, by the way) and the retraction by UniteWomen.

My 1st Year Of Blogging - Here Are The Top 10

(photo by Tammy Harrel-Fraley)

As difficult as it is for me to contemplate, this marks my first year of blogging. After publishing some 60 posts, readers from all over the world have read enough of them for me to create a Top 10 list of blog posts. As I've said before, Americans love lists and nothing is better than reading lists than creating lists. I thought about creating my own personal Top 10 list, but I'll just stick with a list based on reader "views" with appropriate comments. Not surprisingly, the articles about conspiracies lead the way.

1. http://rod-harrel.blogspot.com/2011/11/jfk-conspiracy-proof-is-in-warren.html
"JFK CONSPIRACY-The Proof Is In The Warren Report" was one of two postings concerning the 48th anniversary of JFK's assassination. This one far outpaced the others on the list and is certainly in my personal top five.

2. http://rod-harrel.blogspot.com/2012/03/john-lennon-conspiracy-of-silence.html
"JOHN LENNON - A Conspiracy Of Silence" wherein I reprinted the original script for the documentary of the same name. Due to time limitations, the documentary was kept just under fifteen minutes, which meant some material was edited out. I felt some readers might enjoy the longer version and apparently they did. The article also includes a link to the video on You Tube.

3. http://rod-harrel.blogspot.com/2011/10/obama-extrajudicial-mass-murderer.html
"Obama: Extra Judicial Mass Murderer" was by far the most popular blog in terms of page views at the end of 2011. I'm pleased as I feel it is one of my best works.

4. http://rod-harrel.blogspot.com/2011/11/walter-cronkite-was-source-of-core-jfk.html
"Walter Cronkite Was The Source Of The Core 'JFK Conspiracies' came about after watching the original live broadcasts from CBS News on that fateful day in Dallas. I was amazed how many of the subsequent "theories" were originally reported as facts.

5. http://rod-harrel.blogspot.com/2011/08/presidents-who-owned-people.html
"Presidents Who Owned People" is still one of my personal favorites. Pictures and history! I got the idea after reading a well researched article about our Presidents.

THE PEDESTRIAN RIGHTS

WE do not own a car and we do not own a bicycle. Our primary mode of transportation is us, whether on foot, crutches or wheelchair.

THEREFORE, take heed of the following:

1. We rule the sidewalks.
Motorists yield to us. Motorists shall not block our sidewalks.
Bicyclists yield to us, we do not yield to bicyclists. Bicyclists must let us know when they are passing us from behind. Bicyclists shall not block our sidewalks.

2. We rule the crosswalks.
Motorists yield to us. Motorists shall not block our crosswalks.
Bicyclists yield to us. Bicyclists must let us know when they are passing us from behind. Bicyclists shall not block our crosswalks.

"Yep, I'm Heterosexual"

Now that Anderson Cooper has come out and "announced he's gay", the prevailing thought is that eventually someone's sexual orientation will no longer be a big deal. This may, partially, be true. In the fifteen years since Ellen DeGeneres announced she was gay with the famous "Yep, I'm Gay" Time magazine cover and subsequent episode of her then TV sitcom, celebrities and people in the public eye (as they say) announcing they are gay doesn't cause as much of ripple in the MSM as it use to.

(from the Hollywood Reporter)

On top of the prevailing thought about sexual orientation eventually becoming no big deal, the current thought that it is important for well known people to come out, can help shed light upon and hopefully see a reduction in the amount of bullying endured by gay school children.

Now I have something to write to you bigots out there. First of all, don't get all bent out of shape for being called a bigot. Look up the definition and you'll understand what I mean. Let's reverse this whole debate [which is nothing new] for second and I would like you to look into your heart and what you know is right by reading the following faux news report.

ROD HARREL SAYS, 'YEP, I'M HETEROSEXUAL'

Dateline - Portland, Oregon

(photo courtesy of some gay person)

In a stunning announcement sure to set no tongues wagging in the greater metro area, local punk, rabble-rouser, actor, writer and other hyphenates, Rod Harrel, announced via Twitter that he is "a happy heterosexual". "I'm quite happy being a heterosexual", said Mr. Harrel in a somewhat garbled telephone interview, "and I hope by coming forward I can help prevent the continued bullying suffered by heterosexual children in our schools."

When pressed about his bullying in school, Mr. Harrel replied, "I had a big nose and red hair as a kid. Might as well have been wearing a bulls eye on my nerdy jacket."

Make YOUR VOTE Pay!

STEP RIGHT UP, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STEP RIGHT UP!

It's re-election time 2012 and we know you want the current administration to continue to give you things like the following:

Support for the repeal of that nasty don't ask, don't tell policy.

Signing a law that is hailed as sweeping bank reforms.

Suggesting for office the first black Attorney General.

ZOMBIES!!! Am I Too Late To Jump On The Bandwagon?

"Please, Lisa, they prefer to be called the 'living impaired'."

- Bart Simpson

Zombies are everywhere these days and I know I'm too late to jump on the bandwagon because (as far as we know) the zombies' first appearance in popular culture dates to The Epic Of Gilgamesh when Ishtar says,

I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,

I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,

and will let the dead go up to eat the living!

And the dead will outnumber the living!

Whoa! Ouch!

Lately, zombies started showing up in movies in the 1930's and really came to the fore with George Romero's 1968 epic, The Night Of Living Dead. However, even more recently, zombies are everywhere, even my nephew was involved in the filming of a zombie movie. But wait! Now, the MSM is pushing a series of stories that have zombie written all over them. They are even using the word "zombie" in some of their stories. The most obvious recent example is the Miami Zombie.

Well, you may say, these are just isolated, bizarre incidents. Or, you may hark back to a curious event in government history: the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC, yeah, I know, why not the CDCP, but I'm not going there) release of a series of zombie related material that it characterized as the, "CDC has a fun new way of teaching the importance of emergency preparedness. Our new graphic novel, 'Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic'..."

When was the last time you thought of a government agency as being fun? Or as having a sense of humor? Especially an agency that proclaims to prevent and control diseases? Just askin'.

Which brings us to a blog posting I ran across today that showed there has been a sort of zombie outbreak over the last two weeks. Just yesterday a Maryland college student was accused of killing his roommate and then eating his heart and brains. The posting also related a story I remembered and filed away in my "tres bizarre" file: that of a Florida doctor who was arrested for a DUI and banged his head against the inside of the patrol car and spat the resulting blood at the police officer. This is a link to ABC News about the case, and ABC is about as MSM as you can get, but I alphabetizingly digress.

Are there some sort of gases being released or viruses or perhaps even [horrors] "drugs"? No, not at all. For the reason for this latest outbreak of "zombism" across our fair old country is attributed, as it always has been, to: hamsters. Think about it; The Night Of The Living Dead was released in 1968, within years it seemed as though every freaking house in the freaking good ol' USA had a pet hamster. You could even build the little beggars entire cities if your parents had the bucks. So, that explains it.

Wait, WTF, you say delicate reader? Yeah, yeah, I just had a zombie moment.

The City Of Portland's Green Illogic

A few months ago, the City of Portland, Oregon, in its continuing series of "green" initiatives, slashed curbside garbage pick-ups to every other week and gave everybody a compost bin about the size of a breadbox. The idea was to increase recycling and decrease garbage going into landfills. There was the usual hue and cry about pestilence and plague because, apparently, large rats would begin to invade our fair city; but, by and large, sheeple in Portland went along with the idea.

Well, lo and behold! Portland has dropped the amount of garbage going into the city's landfills by a staggering 44%! The City of Portland asked for it and by god the citizens responded.

So, how did the City of Portland respond to such an overwhelming success? Why, they raised the garbage rates of course! Why? Because the price of gas has gone up and bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. Yes, it is Green Illogic once again rearing its ugly, garbage infested head. Take something that actually worked as intended and then give the citizens a nice deep screw by raising their garbage rates. If the amount of garbage going to landfills has decreased by 44%, then shouldn't the amount of garbage trucks and their miles traveled to said landfills also have been reduced? It therefore makes no sense then to raise the garbage rates.

The City of Portland: the city that works to screw you.

FIVE Wrong Ways To Bum A Smoke From Me

WARNING: explicit language

Look, I'm as pleasant as the next smoker, in spite of the continual second class treatment of smokers by the nanny state. However, here are five wrong ways to attempt to "bum a smoke" from me.

1) When I'm talking on the phone. Really, you would interrupt somebody's phone call for any reason? Seriously, you'd walk up to a complete stranger on the street who is talking on the phone and ask them for a cigarette? How fucking rude!

2) When I'm crossing the street in one direction and you are crossing in another direction. Really, I should stop in the middle of a crosswalk and roll you one?

3) When you're a pretty woman, batting your lovely eyes and cooing your voice, asking, "Please, can I bum a smoke?", when your Ramones looking reject of a boyfriend flits about nearby. I know who the fucking smoke is really for!

4) Just as I'm about to board the bus or train. Sure, let me miss my damn bus or train so you can bum a smoke. Makes perfect fucking sense to me, you fucking moron.

5) And last, but certainly not least, when I'm at a bar and you're one of those "I only smoke when I drink" type of smokers, "not like you". Give me a good golly god damned break! You can afford those endless shots of Bushmills but can't afford to buy a fucking pack of smokes? I'm just a working class hero after all.