What If Corporate Dems Revived "Red Channels"

Over the next few weeks, I will be periodically posting articles as would likely appear in a Corporate Democrats revival of the old Commie hating warhorse, Red Channels. It's what they do best the last 3 years, so why not go full board? Some may feel these parodies go too far(!), while others will feel they don't go far enough.

First up, their introductory article, WHY WE FIGHT.

THE MAD MARCH of red fascism is a cause for concern in America. But the deceit, the trickery, and the lies of the American communists are catching up with them. Whenever the spotlight of truth is focused upon them they cry, "Neo-McCarthyites!".

The Russian Lovers of the United States are a fifth column if there ever was one. It is far better organized than were the Nazis in occupied countries prior to their capitulation! The purpose of RED CHANNELED is to expose these Traitors, these people and organizations that are Treasonous to the United States, whether they be in media, politics or the plumber who fixes your sink. There can be no other alternative given the mountain of proof that Putin himself hacked into our Presidential Election and installed his puppet, Donald J. Trump.

Over and over, Trump has proven his slovenly loyalty NOT to America, but to the Motherland of Russia and its iron clad dictator Vladimir Putin - the MASTER KGB SPY! Those who would criticize our government and its institutions, especially our glorious and brave intelligence agencies, are nothing more than Putin Lovers. They must be exposed and their employers and their friends must shun them and turn them over to the proper authorities. The Mueller Investigation has shown it has no compunction to indict these treasonous TRAITORS.

After the Russians stole our last election, it is tantamount that every American goes to the polls this Fall. Every American must help us expose those who support Trump and his puppet master Putin. Trump must be thrown out of office and a legitimate President be sworn in as we see fit. Putin's puppet's laws and appointments will then be declared null and void and we as Americans will begin to truly make our country great again!

WE WILL PREVAIL to restore Patriotic America and vanquish the Putin Lovers!

(from The Financial Tribune, under Fair Use)

--- The RED CHANNELED Patriots ---

James C. O'Meally, publisher

Peter N. Barely, vice-president

Byron Scott Thatcher III, managing editor/spokesperson

Robert "Mad Dog" Kerns, editor

John McCain; Lauding The Unlaudable

As when Alex Jones [a government propaganda shill] was censored off many platforms in a coordinated move, the death of John McCain has caused Corporate Democrats to slither even more to the right. In the case of Jones, censorship wasn't a big deal as that branch of the War Party tweeted, posted and generally agreed. Jones was a soft target after all; easy to hate; easier for the masses to shrug and say, "ah, it won't happen to left wing writers". Uh, right. That ship sailed. Now, McCain's death has Corporate Democrats tripping over one another in a mad and bewildering dash to lionize a war criminal.

Alas, in this day and age, such verbiage is akin to at least being called a Russian bot to at worst being censored off multiple social media platforms. The latter happened to writer Caitlin Johnstone from Australia. Twitter banned her for awhile and, as usual, the reason of "violating terms of service" was brought up with no accompanying examples.

It is to be expected that the propaganda arm of the War Party and the Pentagon, the mainstream media (MSM), would literally be gushing and non-critical in their "reporting" on the life and times of McCain. The Corporate Democrats have shown, hopefully to anyone who still has been turning a blind eye, that they worship war, death and misery that McCain so aptly represented. A virtual avalanche of politicians (naturally) and your favorite celebrities and "journalists" hopping on the McCain war crimes bandwagon. What's astonishing really, is the total subservience, the total suspension of reality, that normally critical thinking people have twisted themselves into to laud the unlaudable.

The list of these nearly identical, and stomach churning to any anti-war activist or feeling human being, comments is long and written by people who may have lost their minds in some respect. The politicians, yes, they say what they say because they're just as complicit. What else would they say about a fellow war criminal? Of this group, the rising star, so-called Democratic-Socialist, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, shines the brightest light on how all-encompassing and ubiquitous this slimy veneer of eulogy is over actually, bloody hands. Judging by the near onslaught of negative reaction to her Tweet about McCain, a lot of people are aware he was a war criminal, yet the sad part is that these so-called Democratic-Socialists will wind up voting for a now revealed Corporate Democrat in November anyway.

Such "resisters" as Tom Hanks, Ellen DeGenderes, Whoopi Goldberg, Mia Farrow, Reese Witherspoon, Sheryl Crow, Tom Arnold, Joy Behar, Dan Rather, Jimmy Kimmel, Denis Leary, Drew Carey, George Soros, Kathy Griffin, Jonathan Frakes, and on and on until you find your head spinning at the enormity of it all! Forget what the Apaches have said! "When John McCain was trying to steal Apache land for copper mining and Navajo drinking water for five star golf courses—the relatives here in the SW  [Arizona] chanted on the rez and in the streets ‘John McCain is our Kit Carson. John McCain is an Indian Killer.’"
Yet the people who claim to support Native American causes laud the unlaudable, with blood on their hands.

Screw the Vietnamese, them gooks!!

Yet, the people who claim to champion Asian rights laud the unlaudable, with blood on their hands.

It's like that whole Keating 5 thing never happened, too! In a day and age when political/corporate crime is big in the news, no one wants to say that McCain should have been jailed instead of having his little Senate wrist slapped. There's also that pesky incomplete list of the wars that caused the death of  millions of innocent civilians supported by the war criminal known as John McCain: Syria - Ukraine - Libya - Yemen - Iraq - Afghanistan - Yugoslavia - Somalia - Vietnam. Pictures of people blown to bits, of poor innocent children just can't cut it right now for the blood soaked Corporate Democrat sellouts lauding the unlaudable, with blood on their hands.

Peter Strzok's MeFraudYou Campaign

Peter Strzok, the FBI/CIA guy who was so pro-Hillary Clinton that he did his damnedest to make sure Donald Trump would never become president, WHILE HE WAS INVESTIGATING HILLARY CLINTON and bullshit Russian "election hacking", was fired Monday (finally) from the FBI. Coincidentally, he opened his own Twitter account the same day and even more coincidentally, "friends" of his started a Go Fund Me campaign. Or, as we like to call it: his MeFraudYou campaign.

The original goal was $150,000, for, "covering Pete’s hefty – and growing – legal costs and his lost income." For one thing, he hasn't been charged with any crimes and for another, just how much was he making as an FBI/CIA agent?? Before you could say "Putin", thousands of people were pouring so much money into the campaign that the "friends" increased the goal amount to $350,000. Yet, still they came with dollars clutched in their tiny Hillbot hands; so much so, that the "friends" increased the goal amount to a staggering $500,000! Can a goal of $1,000,000 be that far behind? As of the time of this writing, the campaign has amassed $408,146 from 10,588 people, or perhaps bots, in a mere two days.

As Twitter user, Pardes Seleh (among others), so rightfully pointed out:

I joined the fray, as it were, for awhile as well; with updates on the MeFraudYou campaign as the $$$ continued to pour in at a rate that would make even Jeff Bezos blush.

As has been mentioned before, since November 8th, 2016, some sort of switch has been opened and the ability of Americans to exercise any critical thinking skills is out the window. Have people simply forgotten that the FBI/CIA's agent main job is to lie? Who do you think these "friends" are that created this MeFraudYou account? Have people eschewed history and totally forgotten , for example, the limited hang out revelations of the Church Committee? And worse, do these people believe that the intelligence apparatus, thus sort of caught by the Committee, just packed up their old kit bags of Orwellian horrors and such and simply disappeared?

These "friends" of Strzok's even have the audacity to claim in their reasons why Strzok needs all this ready cash is because he is a "proud husband". So, that whole affair he had with Lisa Page, a fellow FBLiar, was just a bump in the road? Two shits passing in the night?

Anyone who bothered to read through the released text messages and done any research into the backgrounds of both agents realizes that something big was going on. That an "insurance policy" was mysteriously somewhere, awaiting, that would keep Trump from being president. Well, OK, that didn't work out, so, OK, listen to the Strzok apologists, the policy will remove Trump from office. Yeah, that's the ticket! It's no secret that I abhor the Trump Administration, mainly because it is yet another puppet of the War Party. Not of Putin. Of the War Party. What's been revealed (so far) about this "Strzok affair" is dangerous for what's left of our democracy. Giving money to this obvious scam is another nail in the old coffin and a distasteful picture of some Americans with their heads in the sand or firmly encased up their asses.

Less Than 48 Hours; Twitter Wants To Know If I Am a ROBOT

I decided to join Twitter thinking it might be a better fit for my daily stream of consciousness random thoughts. But, alas.

I posted a comment that wasn't even political (shocking for people who know me well - a dwindling amount I might add) and instantly I was taken to a screen that wanted to know if I was a "robot". Here is the comment in question:

Pretty innocuous really. But then, with Putin lightning speed, came this:

Peter Strzok--the FBI agent who vowed to "stop Trump," who was admonished by the DOJ IG for his bias, and who was screwing around with FBI co-conspirator Lisa Page--is using a delusional link to The Weekly Standard as an exoneration of him to raise cash for himself.

But, I might a robot...

Russian Hacking 'Story' Comes Full Circle Jerk

The government's Russian hacking story has taken on many permutations over the last several months, but one thing remains: it's the weakest fly paper roll ever created. As much as they throw the Russian flies at it, they never stick. First it was hacking, then it was collusion, then it was Trump, then Trump, Jr., then this and then that. As usual the MSM (Mainstream Media) have been compliant lap dogs, and, unfortunately, too many smart Americans believe it, permutations and all. "WikiLeaks be damned! I don't need to read that to know it's just more Russian meddling", they claim with pride. Oh, I forgot meddling on my list above. My bad. Anyway, the latest tear in the morphing hack story is that it was what we expected all along, a leak. The VIPS (Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity) organization's report is another in a long line of examinations showing that the DNC breach was a leak. An inside job.

There is, however, a little noticed side road to this whole sordid affair and as of today, it has come full circle -  a full circle jerk, as it were. This side road is the DHS CLAIMS RUSSIANS TRIED TO HACK SOME STATES' ELECTION DATABASES according to our never lyin' pals at DHS (Department of Homeland Security). As we shall see, this story was actually THE DHS TRIED TO HACK SOME STATES' ELECTION DATABASES! Today, the circle jerk was completed, apparently the government believes our collective memories are terribly short, and now DHS CLAIMS RUSSIANS TRIED TO HACK SOME STATES' ELECTION DATABASES has returned to claim it's rightful place upon the throne of shame!

Let's go back to the origin of this fanciful new tale, which was the old tale, which was debunked, shall we?

In the Summer of 2016 the government and MSM conspired to try to sell to the American people that the latest WikiLeaks e-mail dump and FBI document dump were the result of a Russian hack as opposed to an inside leak. This led to articles published about the DHS warning States to double-check their election databases. It should be noted at this time, that while voting machines themselves can not be hacked because they are not online, election databases are online and therefore can be subject to hack attacks. Then before you knew it (but you knew it was bound to happen), the DHS and the FBI, Comey's FBI, btw, was claiming through those ever ready unnamed sources, that some 20 States' election databases had been attacked by the evil Rooskies, but the attacks were thwarted!

(Fair Use image)

Yet, what the DHS was saying was not true, it was totally false. How do we know this? Because after the late September - early October, 2016 spate of articles faded from memory to be replaced by the overwhelming trauma of Trump actually winning the general election over Hillary Clinton, no one was talking about it anymore.

UNTIL...stories began to appear in early December that States had begun to report that their election databases had indeed suffered unsuccessful hack attacks by...DHS! Holy turn around, Batman! Soon, the Secretary of State of Georgia was joined by Secretaries from such States as Indiana, Virginia, Kentucky and Idaho. It is interesting, to say the least, that some of these States refused DHS "help" in strengthening the States' databases. Apparently, very strongly worded and rather stern letters were sent by these Secretaries to DHS. The DHS was eventually forced to respond by saying that the States asked them for help. Of course, the States say they did not ask for DHS help! Then, DHS said that it was one of those usual cut-and-paste Word program gobble-de-gook, just trust us will ya!?!

As before, the story sort of faded from memory while some other Russia Did It deflection stories were trotted out and some unpleasantness with Russia and silly sanctions and dangerousness with North Korea were at the top of the agenda. Headlines blared, hair was pulled and tens of millions of cases of the Backfire Effect raced across America. It wasn't and hasn't been pleasant.

Today, however, because why the fuck not (?) it would seem, the original DHS CLAIMS RUSSIANS TRIED TO HACK SOME STATES' ELECTION DATABASES, dressed up in new garb, was trotted out before the ever gullible public. What's interesting this time, is although 21 States were named, only 15 States have actually been publicly named at this time, and of those only Illinois and Virginia are mentioned (States among those that accused the DHS originally)! There have been local reports from KNBC Los Angeles that California is on the list. So far, the SOS of California has not responded to this reporter's entreaties to comment.

It's incredible that this entire circle jerk was attempted in the first place. What is not incredible, alas, is that the MSM and certain Secretaries of State and of course DHS, NSA, FBI, et al, are trying use this dead horse as a brand new rainbow colored pony for all to fawn over. They have done it before for other things, so why not use this again? The sad reality is that too many people will fall for this, when simple research easily shows what a complete circle jerk is this "side road" story.

We Should Be More Like Edith Bunker

This is a 40 year old two part episode of "All In The Family" broadcast in 1977 on CBS-TV. It addresses headlong our faith, our ability to accept people for who they are, and the devastating effects of tragedy that so often befalls our brothers and sisters. That part of society 40 years ago and so much more today, that insists on 'punishment' for sins that I believe, quite frankly, are bullshit. Since when should love ever be punished? Since when should who someone is be a subject of punishment? Questions that have been with us, our societies, for thousands of years. 40 years ago, we were given witness to something that had never been discussed before on TV, and within the confines of the typical American TV sit-com.

The character of Beverly LaSalle (played by Lori Shannon), had appeared twice before on show, starting in 1975! I must say, that this "All In The Family" TV show gave me a foundation to work from that had not really existed in my life before. These preconceived notions of race, gender, politics, draft dodgers, Viet Nam vets, inflation and yes, even Watergate, were changed in me because of this show. Maybe I was lucky in that these strong foundation bricks to my character, as it were, were laid at such a young age. I mean that, not only as a person, but also as an artist.

Perhaps some of you, who know me as a rather outspoken non-believer in monotheism, and the horrors of such beliefs, I think, have been inflicted upon the world, would be surprised by my recommending these episodes. It's all about Edith, that's why. It doesn't matter if you accept Edith's faith in God, you can understand, that throughout the entire series, Edith accepted ALL. No one was denied entry into not only her home, but, more importantly, her heart. These episodes show that to a spectacular degree.

I am not imploring you to watch these two episodes. I am not even asking you to watch them. I am demanding you to watch them. If there is to be any real progressive change in our world, a real end to our hostilities, this journey must begin in ALL of us, to strive to be more like Edith Bunker.

Peace. And I love you all.

Portland Knife Killer Was Apparently Bernie And Trump Supporter

In a not unlikely turn of events, the Portland man who stabbed to death two men and injured another on a MAX train last Friday, portrayed himself on social media as both a Bernie supporter and a Trump supporter. Twitter people were lighting up their accounts with posts of screenshots of the knife-wielding killer on Facebook. Mostly, they had an agenda by pointing out the killer posted pro-Bernie comments and such. However, they are wrong, as are the media.

The killer, er, suspect, has a long history in Portland of causing trouble at not only pro-Trump rallies but also pro-Bernie/democracy rallies. He was well-known to police. The media is playing up his posts on social media about pro-Nazi this and pro-Trump that while completely ignoring his pro-Bernie sympathizes. He also has an extensive criminal history, again known to the police. Here is a screenshot of a post showing one of the suspect's, er, killer's, pro-Bernie militant rants.

Seems a bit unhinged, doncha think? Especially compared to another post of the killer's which is certainly not pro-Trump as well. In fact, it is downright scary.

What is going here? In my long history as a Progressive in Portland, the police have been known to infiltrate groups, some to which I belonged to at the time, and to also illegally surveille said groups and to also send agent provocateurs to rallies to disrupt them with outrageous and media sexy antics. It appears to me, that this knife killer was likely such an agent. Both pro-Bernie and pro-Trump rally organizers complained to police about this man and they say nothing was done about him. Why would the police do so, if he was on their payroll? Just a question to ponder.

In the above post, the killer's rantings make the Cascadia and State Of Jefferson movements look bad, too. That's a classic psy-op tactic: guilt by association. It makes no sense on the surface given the brutal nature of this person's crimes. But, as far as you know, the killer was a wild-eyed Trump supporter and for some of you that's just peaches and cream. Any other narrative is simply going to be ignored by you otherwise, of course, your head might literally explode in a JFK kinda way.

The end result was tragic. Two men dead and another one injured. The killer spewed racial hatred at two women on the MAX train. Three men decided to call him on his bigotry and the killer reacted by pulling a knife.
It is a sad truth that in the headlong rush to achieve an agenda, deaths occur. Families suffer. Fear is stoked. Truth is buried.

EMAILS - This Is What Difference They Make

This is simple.

CAUSE -
https://apnews.com/1a737240cf144c728b45ef64e181f19d/experts-clinton-emails-could-have-compromised-cia-names

EFFECT -
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/20/world/asia/china-cia-spies-espionage.html?_r=0

(Fair Use)

TO MOVE FORWARD Trump Protests Need To Stop Giving A Platform To Haters, Murderers & Abusers

The Women's March On DC and throughout the country on January 21st, 2017 was a huge success. Estimates of up to 4 million people marched in various cities and towns to protest against the most egregious Trump Administration policies and promised practices. Like the Bernie Sanders' huge rallies and movement of last year, for this important work to move forward, these events and protests need to stop giving a platform to hateful people, murderers and sexual abusers. Ironically, people who epitomize exactly what most are protesting against.

Not that these recent People's movements are harbingers of allowing such people platforms, for these variety of leeches have plagued modern movements for decades. Organizer's ignorance about them can only account for a fraction of the time they secure on a platform. Too often, their pasts/presents apparently are simply ignored for whatever reasons. Here are three examples of people who need to have their access to platforms at protests and events against the Trump Administration removed.

(Protesters in Los Angeles and Washington, DC, January 21st, 2017 - Fair Use)

Micah Rhodes, a co-leader of Portland's (Oregon) Resistance, was recently accused of sexually abusing a teen boy and girl. What makes this more astounding was that even though he was a co-leader at numerous marches and rallies, he had previous sexual assault history and is a registered sex offender. The linked article explains why this history was likely unknown due to the conviction happening in juvenile court.

Donna Hylton, a featured speaker at the Women's March In DC, is a convicted felon who took part in the kidnapping, torturing, sodomizing and murder of an old man. Yes, you should probably read that again, slowly. She asked for a large ransom, even though her and her co-felons had already killed the man, Thomas Vigliarole. This information comes from an article in Psychology Today published in July, 1995. Hylton was sentenced to 25 years in 1985. Today, she is apparently a professional victim...

(Donna Hylton at the Women's March in DC. Photo by Getty Images under Fair Use)

Linda Sarsour, a well-known activist and also a well-known spew spout of hatred, was a co-chair of the Women's March On DC! This so-called supporter of women's rights actually attacked via Twitter, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, activist, author and survivor of female genital mutilation. Here is her 2011 quote. Horrible.

Needless to say, people like the ones described and exposed above, should not be allowed a platform at any rallies, protests or marches. Their mere presence not only seriously undermines the movement's goals but gives easy fodder for Republican and right-wing detractors and Trump Administration apologists.

Donald Trump Gets Pulled Over By A Cop

Trump pulls off to the side of the road. The Cop walks up to Trump's window and he rolls it down.

TRUMP: What could be the problem, Officer?

The Cop begins to speak but Trump keeps going.

TRUMP: Because there is no problem that I can see. A problem is looking for a solution. But, there's no problem here so therefore there can be no solution. I mean, what is a 'problem' anyway? Who decided what a 'problem' is?

COP: Well, sir, you ran a stop light, your tags are expired and you were swerving from left to right. Let's see your license and registration.

TRUMP: Fine, that's fine, here you are. I'm great at swerving to the left and right and back again. I'm yuge about that. There's no better swerver than me, it's one of the things I'm a master at. Just a master at it. Truly a master. Red lights are a conspiracy theory, really. The red light is merely a suggestion, not a true demand. If it was a demand, demanding some demand of some kind then there'd be no liberal rule you know, the California Stop. That wouldn't be there, there's no way that could be there. It's not demanded. Expired tags could be interpreted a variety of ways, just a lot of waves, many waves that make the mere mention of expired wavy. It's a pretty wavy thing. I'd imagine that you imagined they were expired due to some, some sort of smudge of something or a sunflash in your vision. Sunflashes are very common. I should do something about sunflashes and there'd be a less amount of people pulled over.

COP: OK, here's your ticket for the three violations...

TRUMP: Oooo, careful using that word violations, brings up bad memories. I don't like bad memories. They're bad!

COP: Uhhh, right. So, there's your summons date. Please sign right there.

TRUMP: I'm very good at signing. I can't wait to start signing a whole lot of things in the future. A lot of things. Good things. Great things. Here you are, Officer.

COP: Here's your copy. I'd do a field sobriety test, but, well, geez, just take it easy for gosh sakes!

TRUMP: Gosh. Is there a gosh? Gosh, wouldn't it be something if there was no gosh at all? Or what if there is a gosh? Gosh, that would something. Maybe something more something than if there wasn't a gosh and gosh if there wasn't it would be equally, of equal, gosh for that sort of gosh.

COP: I need a drink.

The Cop walks back to his vehicle.

TRUMP: Pretty amazing, gosh, it's pretty, I'm pretty; pretty at being so pretty, oh so pretty. And mild, gosh, mild is I am.

[photo under Fair Use]

"HAMILTON" Star Promoted Rape Culture On Twitter

By now, most everyone has heard about the bru-ha-ha when Brandon Victor Dixon, star of the play "Hamilton", lectured Vice-president-elect Mike Pence from the stage. For the most part, Dixon, was lauded by his peers for the bravery of such an act. An act indeed!

It turns out that Brandon Victor Dixon promoted rape culture in a Tweet from 2012. A screen capture is included below in case he erases the Tweet. As it stands today, he's not getting much blowback except from people Tweeting on his account. The usual outlets of anger and rage are totally silent. What's the phrase? Make this go viral!

Yep - let's get some white chicks drunk for some date raping. Here are a few of the comments from his Tweety page:

- Misogyny and rape culture
- Brandon you're a sick dude
- You're a disturbed man who has no right to lecture anyone about morals. Apologise
- Wow contributing to rape culture
- Are we just going to ignore this?

Democratic Party ELECTION FRAUD 2016

HERE IT IS IN BLACK AND WHITE. You can read this with your own eyes. Exit Polling clearly shows that Election Fraud is alive and well in 2016 and favors Hillary Clinton. Not a conspiracy theory. These are facts, my friends. Pesky facts that Hillary supporters will not defend because they live in a state of denial. There's a river that runs through Arkansas and it's name is Denial, as the saying goes.

Exit Polling is so reliable that it used to make sure other countries are holding fair elections and not engaging in election fraud. Any deviation from the Margin of Error (MoE) means only one thing: Election Fraud. The elections in States marked in RED clearly show it happened, a lot. Yet, the Mainstream Media is silent on this (because our elections are fair and square - we're not some third world banana republic ya know!) and they have even gone as far as to stop reporting exit polls since MAY 6TH!

Without Exit Polls in the remaining 9 elections, it will be very difficult to see how much more ELECTION FRAUD the Goldman Sachs camp has up it's sleeves. This is why she's running around claiming to have 'already won'. Also, this explains her flip-flop on a promise to debate Bernie Sanders in California before that State's primary. Welcome to Democracy, my friends, welcome to Democracy.

 

A.P. Declares Clinton Winner Of South Carolina Primary With 0% Of Votes Counted

Rigged election?

In the screenshot below, the Associated Press has declared Hillary Clinton the winner of the South Carolina Primary with 0% of the votes counted! Another screenshot shows that with 1% of the precincts supposedly reporting, Clinton has soundly beaten Bernie Sanders by over 60 points. Wake up America.

 

DEAR SANTA - All I Want For Christmas Is A State Of Emergency Declared

DEAR SANTA,

What I want for Christmas, Santa, is a declaration of a State Of Emergency for the Aliso Canyon/Porter Ranch natural gas leak by both Governor Brown and President Obama. This toxic gas leak, which is also laced with the chemicals methyl mercaptan and tetrahydrothiophene so you can smell it, has been going on for over two months. This is a worst disaster than the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Santa, do you know why are leaders are so silent about this environ...mental disaster?

Is it that, unlike oil, what you can't see is easy to ignore, that has prompted an unparalleled silence from our leaders? The list of what this toxic leak is doing would make this letter to you too long, so here are the highlights and I hope my environmental friends will also take note.

As you know Santa, it would be highly dangerous for you to fly your sleigh over the area because the FAA has forbidden any aircraft from flying lower than 2,000 feet over the area because, well, BOOM! This toxic leak in two months time has polluted the air with methane equal to what 6 COAL POWER PLANTS WOULD DO IN 20 YEARS! Santa, over 2,500 families have now been displaced because of this disaster and two schools have been forced to close. Think of the children! As you know, no date for stopping this leak has been identified by the company spewing this gas into our air.
Santa, that's all I want for Christmas, a state and federal State Of Emergency for this leak.

Signed,
Rodney
P.S., I live less than 5 miles away from the leak. Say 'hi' to Mrs. Claus!

(Infared image of the toxic gas leak.)

 

Twas The Hype Before ISIS™

(From "What Really Happened" under Fair Use)

TWAS THE HYPE BEFORE ISIS™

Twas the hype before ISIS, and all through the land

Creatures were stirring, finding things to be banned

The effigies were hung from the trees with care

In hopes that Saint Fraudulent soon would be here

 

 

The children were hidden beneath their beds

While visions of beheadings bounced in their heads

And mamma with her AK and I with my Glock

Our fevered brains couldn't tell it was a bunch of crock

 

When out on the internet there arose such a chatter

That Homeland Security didn't see what was the matter

Yet away to the Windows I flew like a flash

Tore open the Firefox and typed with a bash

 

 

And soon on the rest of my new fallen words

The luster of paranoia a washed all the herds

When what to my wondering eyes should I see

But a Toyota truck with eight tiny jihadi

 

 

With an old driver, so lively and brawn

I knew in a moment it was Jihadi John

More rapid than rumor his soldiers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

 

 

Now Dastgir! Now, Dani! Now, Pasha and Viqaas!

On, Coman! On, Codei! On, Dorrah and Bijan!

To the top of the hill, to the top of the wall

Now Daesh away! Daesh away! Daesh away all!

 

 

And then, with a shudder, I heard in the drive

The Toyota truck motor as if it were alive

As I grabbed my head and was turning around

Down the chimney Jihadi John did bound

 

 

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot

Dressed so black one could not see ashes or soot

A bundle of bombs he had tied to his back

And he looked like a SWAT guy, with not as much tact

 

 

His eyes how they twinkled! His mission so merry!

He brandished his sword, so red like a cherry

His droll little accent was perfect for TV

He said the orange jumpsuit was 'specially for me

He was chummy and svelte, a right jolly ol' jihadi

And I laughed when I saw him, despite my Glock 23

A wink of his eye and a twist of his sword

Soon gave me to know I had a waterboard

 

 

Then spoke not a word, but worked with a calm

And filled all the stockings each with a bomb

And laying a finger on the detonator

And giving a nod, up the chimney like an accelerator!

 

 

He splooshed into the Toyota and his team gave a yell

And away they all flew like bats out of hell

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he smoked from his pipe

“Happy hoax infidel, and enjoy all the hype!”