I was pondering one night, weak and weary, pondering feverishly, that given the internet websites' odd 'zero tolerance' for important nouns and such, I pondered what yesteryear's headlines would be like given today's internet grammar, or lack thereof. I run on, verily.
Enjoy.
1865 - FFS! MRS. LINCOLN WON'T BE GOING BACK TO THEATRE
1876 - PLAINS INDIANS KNOW MATHEMATICS, ARMY NOT SO MUCH
1889 - LMAO, AMERICANS SURPRISED BY OUTCOME OF RESULTS
1912 - LOL, PASSENGERS ON LINER FIND THEIR ROUND TRIP TICKETS ARE ONLY ONE WAY
1929 - WALL STREET INVESTORS TO KEEP OFFICES ON FIRST FLOOR FOR THIS VERY OBVIOUS REASON
1932 - YANKEE DOES THIS AMAZING THING
1939 - SOUTHERN FILM WINS AWARDS
1941 - UNITED STATES IS ANGRY OVER JAPANESE HAWAIIAN AIR SHOW
1945 - OMG! HITLER FINDS SOVIET SHELLING NEARBY, THE RESPONSE IS PRICELESS
1945 - JAPANESE ANGRY OVER UNITED STATES AIR BURST
1953 - ROSENBERGS FIND CHAIR ENLIGHTING
1963 - TRIP TO DALLAS ENDS IN SURPRISE FOR PRESIDENT KENNEDY
1964 - BRITISH INVASION CURSES AMERICAN PARENTS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL AMAZE YOU
1965 - U.S. TROOPS FIND THEIR ASIAN HOLIDAY NOT AS ADVERSTISED
1969 - BALTIMORE UPSET BY NEW YORK
1973 - PRESIDENT NIXON FINDS TAPED EXPLETIVE OFFENSIVE AND DELETES IT BY NIGHTFALL
1979 - LOL, AMERICANS SURPRISED BY REVOLUTION, WHO KNEW?
1980 - MT. ST. HELENS LOSES 1,000 FEET WHERE IT WENT MAY SURPRISE YOU
1983 - U.S. FLEXES MIGHT OVER TINY ISLAND TO SAVE STUDENTS GRADES SAVED TOO
1994 - EX-FOOTBALL STAR GETS VERY RUDE AWAKENING
2001 - LMAO, AMERICANS SURPRISED BY OUTCOME OF RESULTS
Enjoy.
1865 - FFS! MRS. LINCOLN WON'T BE GOING BACK TO THEATRE
1876 - PLAINS INDIANS KNOW MATHEMATICS, ARMY NOT SO MUCH
1889 - LMAO, AMERICANS SURPRISED BY OUTCOME OF RESULTS
1912 - LOL, PASSENGERS ON LINER FIND THEIR ROUND TRIP TICKETS ARE ONLY ONE WAY
1929 - WALL STREET INVESTORS TO KEEP OFFICES ON FIRST FLOOR FOR THIS VERY OBVIOUS REASON
1932 - YANKEE DOES THIS AMAZING THING
1939 - SOUTHERN FILM WINS AWARDS
1941 - UNITED STATES IS ANGRY OVER JAPANESE HAWAIIAN AIR SHOW
1945 - OMG! HITLER FINDS SOVIET SHELLING NEARBY, THE RESPONSE IS PRICELESS
1945 - JAPANESE ANGRY OVER UNITED STATES AIR BURST
1953 - ROSENBERGS FIND CHAIR ENLIGHTING
1963 - TRIP TO DALLAS ENDS IN SURPRISE FOR PRESIDENT KENNEDY
1964 - BRITISH INVASION CURSES AMERICAN PARENTS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL AMAZE YOU
1965 - U.S. TROOPS FIND THEIR ASIAN HOLIDAY NOT AS ADVERSTISED
1969 - BALTIMORE UPSET BY NEW YORK
1973 - PRESIDENT NIXON FINDS TAPED EXPLETIVE OFFENSIVE AND DELETES IT BY NIGHTFALL
1979 - LOL, AMERICANS SURPRISED BY REVOLUTION, WHO KNEW?
1980 - MT. ST. HELENS LOSES 1,000 FEET WHERE IT WENT MAY SURPRISE YOU
1983 - U.S. FLEXES MIGHT OVER TINY ISLAND TO SAVE STUDENTS GRADES SAVED TOO
1994 - EX-FOOTBALL STAR GETS VERY RUDE AWAKENING
2001 - LMAO, AMERICANS SURPRISED BY OUTCOME OF RESULTS
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