ISIS™ Introduces New Anti-Glass Shattering Suicide Bombs

Ever the innovators in the technology of suicide bombing vests, ISIS™, recently introduced, in their Paris campaign, a new bomb which does not shatter glass. The photo below shows the aftermath of the Parisian café suicide bombing which injured and killed many people, but left the glass in the windows totally intact!

(No windows were harmed in this bombing. Reprinted under Fair Use.)

Anonymous intelligence agency sources confirm that while this new bomb technology is a significant step in the lessening of post-bombing clean-up, it is hardly original. These sources point to the Boston Bombing wherein one of the bombs killed and injured scores of people, but left the plastic cups sitting on nearby tables untouched.

One question that overrides all others concerning this technological advancement is why such a ruthless terrorist outfit like ISIS™ would even concern themselves with using it. After using said bombs to kill and injure scores of innocent people, the fact their bombs lessen post-bombing clean-up really isn't going to score ISIS™ any humanitarian points. Another unnamed source that wished to remain anonymous remarked that it reminded them of the old Neutron Bomb. You may recall it, the nuclear bomb that would kill people, but leave buildings basically intact. Regardless, some misguided political-types welcome such technology as a significant step in continued environmental friendliness.

Another interpretation of this recent technology, beyond the obvious tounge-in-cheek nature of this article, is that it comes from the United States military, even though the mainstream media (MSM) has been blacking out the news that ISIS™ was basically a creation of the United States government. This declassified document would also explain how ISIS™ is able to drive miles long truck convoys without any U.S. military bombardment. Or, how they are also able to continue to replace military material and where the heck they get the enormous amount of financial aid to continue such operations in the first place.

 

Cell Phone Service Down Around The Country - Mainstream Media Blackout

NOW INCLUDES UPDATES

When I got home from a gig in Hollywood yesterday (September 12th), I discovered I no longer had text or calling capabilities with my cell phone. After doing some research, I found that this is a wide spread problem across the nation with not only my cell provider (Sprint), but with other companies as well.

Interestingly enough, this massive outage affecting millions of Americans has been totally unreported by the Mainstream Media (MSM). Go ahead and check it out for yourself, for as of this writing, absolutely nothing about this has been reported. The only information outside of Sprint's Facebook page comes from a website called downdectector.com. Here are Sprint's nationwide outages as of the time of publication of this blog post. But, as I've mentioned, it is not only Sprint. Here's the nationwide map for US Cellular. Things with AT&T look even worse. Lastly, and randomly, here is what the map for T-Mobile looks like.

(The author failing once again to get a connection.)

Reading the comments for each map reveals some interesting and on-going problems that haven't been confined to just the last 24 to 48 hour period. The person on Sprint's Facebook page is trying to get some answers to the problem, but it kind of reminds me of that song, "Nowhere Man". What is more frustrating and a bit unsettling than the phone service being down is the utter lack of any MSM coverage. Why that is, I have found nary a clue. Repeated e-mails to the local news TV stations have gone unanswered. If anyone out there reading this is having similar problems, please make a comment. I'll provide any updates when they are applicable. Hello?

UPDATE

According to Sprint on-line staff, as far as my situation goes, it is caused by "a tower is currently impaired in your area. Our network team is aware and working diligently to resolve the issue." This doesn't explain what is happening around the country, of course. I still cannot text or make calls.

2ND UPDATE

After nearly 48 hours I can sort of get the phone to work. By that I mean I have to try several times before a call will go through AND THEN WHILE I'M STANDING IN THE BACKYARD! Sprint wants me to take my phone to one of their stores for some diagnosis which makes no sense to me as it is their problem. Besides, I don't have the time to do that because I'm busy working to pay for the service to begin with. Solar flares my ass!

3RD UPDATE

By standing in the backyard in 107 degree heat I was able to finally contact Sprint's 'customer service' on the my phone. I was told that they are aware of the problem but it will not be fixed until THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH! That would be nearly a week. And they are blaming it on a single cell tower in my neighborhood. Does that make any sense? Is this some scam to make me buy a new phone? And there are still no reports about it on the news. You decide.

4TH UPDATE

Here we are, Day 17, and the problem has still not been fixed. It was, I was told, to be fixed today. But, no. Time to go in the backyard and hopefully find a signal and then call the inappropriately named Sprint Solutions.