Dear Health Care System

Dear Health Care System,

Well, it's been quite a week, hasn't it? It seems you have reached a point with me wherein you haven't a clue what to do with me anymore. You wanted me there at 9am to withdraw some blood and I was there at 8:58am. At 10:36am, after several people were called ahead of me, I just fucking left.

Of course, once a specialist sees me and renders his/her verdict, then you will have something to sink your teeth into. Until that time, when I visit your crowded ER once again I am sure, you will shake your weary head and shrug your weary shoulders. You will wonder aloud how strange it is that a man should be having such a problem, and whether or not I have an infection to go along with the 1/2 pint or so blood loss per event (which alarms me more than you), you'll give me some antibiotics, pat me on the head and send me home.

I know you desperately want some satisfaction and sometimes you seem a bit hostile that I don't have any kidney, bladder, prostate or even liver maladies. You're left holding an empty bag and the best you can do is wave a scolding finger at me because I smoke (even though that has nothing to do with it). Yet, fear not! Perhaps the bubble on my bladder will burst and you can get all atwitter with excitement treating some good old fashioned peritonitis! The cutting, the sucking, the sewing! You will be very pleased with yourself then and have a feeling of accomplishment.

Signed,
Your Health Care Pal