TWO PLAINCLOTHES COPS

“There’s two plainclothes cops backstage!” the anxious stage manager whispered at me. I stopped pacing in the darkened lobby.

“What?” I whispered back, “I have to go onstage in a few minutes! How’d they get in? What do they want?”

She glanced away, “Through the back. They heard we were starting a new theatre with blood and gore. They wanted to check it out.”

“So, what? What business is it of theirs?”

I was getting nervous. This was only the third performance and I had just started this theatre. I asked, “Where are they?”

“Backstage.”

 "I know that! Where?"

She motioned to the lobby door and I slowly opened it and we crept backstage. A few dark blue lights illuminated the corridor, but I saw no cops.

“What cops?” I whispered.

“They were here.”

We slowly moved to the dressing room. I could hear the actor’s voices echoing from onstage. As I looked into the dressing room I saw a couple of actors in varying degrees of undress. We moved along the corridor to the light booth. I looked inside through the dim light and saw only the light op.

“Where are they?”

She shrugged her shoulders and I rolled my eyes at her.

“Well, I don’t know!” she whispered with a hiss.

We walked into the costume room. It was empty.

“They must have gone out the backdoor.”

We stood motionless for a couple of minutes. Then we heard the next cue approaching and dashed backstage.

I had to close the theatre two weeks later, citing a lack of attendance.