Late last winter, 2011, legislators from the state of Ohio invited a fetus to give testimony before one of their committees. While the public part of the testimony merely had a pregnant woman and an ultrasound, my sources have found the transcript of the PRIVATE testimony actually given by the fetus!
LEGISLATOR: Good morning, Mr. Fetus, uh, or are you a Miss Fetus?
FETUS: Gurgle, glabble-blurt.
LEGISLATOR: I see. You are not far enough along to have a sexual identity. Very well, we will refer to you then simply as Fetus. (pause) All right, Fetus, do you feel that abortion is an evil abhorrent sin?
FETUS: Blub blub, gurgle gack.
LEGISLATOR: Very well. Do you then consider yourself to be alive?
FETUS: Freeyap blub, splish splash.
LEGISLATOR: And do you feel democrats are mostly devil worshiping sinners?
FETUS: Glub!
LEGISLATOR: I think I speak for everyone present by saying that your bravery, Fetus, is moving. One last question (commotion)...What's going on? What's wrong with Fetus?
DOCTOR: Sorry, Senator, but a fetus this young can only survive outside the womb for a few minutes.
LEGISLATOR: Hmm. Tragic.
Fetus.
LEGISLATOR: Good morning, Mr. Fetus, uh, or are you a Miss Fetus?
FETUS: Gurgle, glabble-blurt.
LEGISLATOR: I see. You are not far enough along to have a sexual identity. Very well, we will refer to you then simply as Fetus. (pause) All right, Fetus, do you feel that abortion is an evil abhorrent sin?
FETUS: Blub blub, gurgle gack.
LEGISLATOR: Very well. Do you then consider yourself to be alive?
FETUS: Freeyap blub, splish splash.
LEGISLATOR: And do you feel democrats are mostly devil worshiping sinners?
FETUS: Glub!
LEGISLATOR: I think I speak for everyone present by saying that your bravery, Fetus, is moving. One last question (commotion)...What's going on? What's wrong with Fetus?
DOCTOR: Sorry, Senator, but a fetus this young can only survive outside the womb for a few minutes.
LEGISLATOR: Hmm. Tragic.
Fetus.
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